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Dear Portia,

I'm learning to love questions. Isn't that the most wonderful thing? Now, when I look at my window, chewing my pen and looking at leaves fall, I ask not anymore how to solve the perils of the world. It escapes me completely. I realize this whole time this Save-Everything-and-Everyone mentality has been nothing but been pretense all along. I've been so successful at it, I didn't even know I was pretending.

Now, I look at my window and actually see leaves. They fall on our sidewalk and bunch together like soft pillows waiting to be touched. It's beautiful, these questions. They're like leaves falling one at a time, and sometimes we're too busy immediately trying to find ways of sweeping them off that we don't notice their incredible aerodynamics, their ability to fly.

I read this beautiful quote by Rilke today. I feel like it was written for me. He said, 'Try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers which could not be given to you now,because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything.'


Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.'

Little girl, don't fret yourself with too many answers like I did. Asking the right question is a reason for celebration in itself.

Watching leaves fall,
Mom